Maybe it's just me, but as you get older, don't you feel people start to get more quiet, get more edgy, and tend to react more violently when you annoy them? I guess I feel uncomfortable how people just seem to drop a conversation in mid sentence and silence just settles afterwords. I feel uncomfortable when people just ignore me when I have a question for them and even if I repeat the question over and over again, they just continue to ignore me. If I do it back to them, they just get mad at you about how you ignore them.
Like for instance, today we got these Chinese pastries from a good friend of ours who just came back from LA. Ilene, my sister, talked about how nice she was, thinking about us when she was all the way in LA. And I said, "I'm sure she was thinking about mom too." Because our mom was out walking and I assumed she was thinking about just her and me. Then, she said, "Tammy, your so selfish. When I said 'we', I meant mom too." I mean, did I say something selfish?
I guess what I'm trying to say is... people are drifting away. Family members especially. My sister once said I could go to her room whenever I had an issue and talk to her, but every time I do go she shoos me away because she's either too busy or talking to her friends online. I care about my sister and mom and my dad and I love them all. It's just that I think they all forget about the family part of being a family and the less time we spend together the less you know about your own family. I think what my sister said today was out of assumption. Yes, she is my sister for my entire life and knows me better than most people, but does not know the way I think, the way I talk, the way I feel, and just assumes the worst. I hate it when people assume because they normally just assume the worst about people. My sister assuming the worst about me is especially devastating. Does she really not know me that much any more to think that I only think about myself?
As I ponder these thoughts, I'd like to finish this blog and get ready for Chinese school tomorrow. I'll end this entry by thanking God for the life I live and the people I'm with and I pray that others are, can be, or eventually be happy.
God Bless
Tammy
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